bad breath!

Do you ever have bad breath? My breath is kicking this morning! I would say it is “terrorist” status! It’s killing my nose! Or even like Chuck Norris breath it’s giving a good round house to those who come in contact with me! I brushed my teeth twice this morning and I have put mint after mint in my mouth. What is the issue? I thought about what I could have eaten to make it be this bad.  I then remembered the yummy soup I ate yesterday.  It had HUGE chunks of fresh garlic in it. I love eating onions and garlic raw or even barely cooked. I then topped it off with a HUGE cup of coffee.  It’s so funny how things like onions and garlic can cause MONSTER BAD BREATH! I mean I only ate a little…I have also found that only a little disobedience can also cause a tidal wave of consequences.  Guilt, or anxiety, “only if “moments and so much more.  Why do we say NO to a God that created this universe in only a couple of days? A kid in our youth group gave such a great example of being in awe of who God is. He said the other day at work he made a wrap in like 3 seconds and when he handed it to the lady at the window she was in awe of how fast (and correct) the wrap was made. He then said our God created the universe in 7 days and yet we often forget to stand in awe.  Every single person has a purpose.  God CREATED you and He wants to USE you in ways YOU COULDNT EVEN IMAGINE 🙂 Jesus didn’t go around asking people to believe in Him, He asked them to FOLLOW HIM 🙂 wait with expectancy!!!!

Habakuk 1:5

5 “Look at the nations and watch—
       and be utterly amazed.
       For I am going to do something in your days
       that you would not believe,
       even if you were told.

He MAKES me……

In Sunday School yesterday we were studying the 23rd Psalm. I have read that Psalm I believe more than any other Psalm. Pretty much any Christian bookstore you go into you are going to see this Psalm posted or printed. I read it yesterday and God showed me this…..

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
       he leads me beside quiet waters,

 3 he restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for his name’s sake.

 4 Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
       forever

Not only does He provide for me, restores me, and guides me He also MAKES me lie down. Think about how full our schedules can be. Dance and sports keep us running all over the place. Then you add grocery shopping, church, meetings etc and you are booked.  This past week I struggled with studying the word. I looked at verses and prayed but I didn’t hear God speak to me. I have been praying ALL week “God I need to hear Your voice” I am thirsty for You.  I realized that following God isn’t about a feeling at all.  If I don’t feel passionate  that  doesn’t mean I am NOT in love with Jesus, or if I don’t feel all these gushy feelings inside it doesn’t mean I am not in the will of God.  Finally yesterday when I we were reading through this Psalm I saw the words GOD MAKES me lie down…He has to MAKE me stop and allow Him to  move the extra noise in my life to hear him. I have stumbled through prayers this week (falling asleep) and thinking about all that I had to do. It was all good stuff, and things that will honor God but it wasn’t just me and Him. (ALONE) I have discovered that I need that time with Him.  Last  night I was finishing up with my lesson a couple hours before church and  I just sat in the office and I laid my head on the desk and said “God I just want to sit with you right now and say nothing” and that’s exactly what I did. For several minutes I just sat in complete silence and the presence of God was overwhelming. The song Shane and Shane (Be Near) came to my mind and this line touched my soul.

And wonderful to trust in grace through faith
But I’m asking to taste~
For dark is light to you
Depths are height to you
Far is near,
but Lord I need to hear from you

Honestly my life isn’t very busy.  Mondays/Tuesdays/Fridays are usually free nights at our house. Wednesday is church and Thursday we have dance. Now you think I would have all this time to just sit at the feet of Jesus.  I think what happens to so many people (including myself) we may be busy or not so busy but when things are gliding along and life is happening we often take out the very GLUE that holds it together…JESUS 🙂 that doesn’t mean you don’t love Him or want and desire to serve Him. But daily routines of getting kids ready and to school, and then work and then picking kids up from school, housework, cooking dinner, family time, dance, church stuff….you can see how easy it is to lose Him in the mix and HE MAKES you lie down…He desires to be near. Take time today to just sit in His presence and understand that HE WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU AND BE NEAR YOU!

emotional high…

Since I have gotten back from camp it seems that all I have heard about is how satan is on the attack. He truly thinks that most of us are on an emotional high…well I got news 4 him!  I have continued reading the verses that we concentrated on one night in camp and I see how God wants me to be renewed daily.  I have heard this statement so many times” I wish I could just feel God” or “I wish I could worship like them”.  I have been in both of these places and it can leave you feeling numb and as if God doesn’t hear the cries of your heart. We look to people for fashion and we look to people for constant validation, for directions, advice, and music and so on… I realized that we allow people to lead us spiritually and then when we see a decline in their joy, their passion, and their worship we suddenly think something is wrong with our relationship with Christ.  In Exodus 33:7-11 Moses is going into the tent to experience God and to be in His presence. The people would stand outside of the tent while Moses was in it and would worship…but then when Moses would leave so would the people (stay with me now) In 2 Corinthians 3:12-18 it says Moses would cover his face with a veil to keep the Israelites from seeing the radiance fading. When they saw Moses worshiping and glowing with radiance they in return also worshiped and when the fading occurred so would their worship. But Joshua he stayed at the tent wanting to continue to worship not because of Moses but because he wanted to encounter God for himself.  I stood in church this past Sunday evening and I asked the students what was the one thing that they wanted to see God change in their own lives.  The answers were deep and encouraging but many of them said “allowing others to dictate my worship and how I serve God”.  Once we realize that serving God is not a one time deal, or that falling in  love with God is a daily renewing of the heart (2 Corinthians 4:16) we begin to understand that its not about how we feel.  I was talking to one of my very close friends last night about passion and wanting to express it. I thought about that over and over and I see her passion and her love for God. But even though it is so evident to me it’s not to her. She feels it but says “I can’t get it out”. Why is that? I truly think it’s because she is basing her love for God with the way she feels. She is very active with her kids, and her husband and she cares deeply for people.  Many of us need to experience this freedom. The freedom that we ourselves take away! We allow satan to fill our thoughts with past failures, failed expectations and ultimately the fear of not being good enough. It says in 2 Corinthians 3:17 where the spirit of the Lord is there is FREEDOM. This tells me that its attainable we just have to shut out the very one who wants to enslave us over and over and over again. I am thirsty for God and I want to be in His presence all the time not just at conferences, or worship on Sundays…Its sitting at the red light looking up and seeing the most amazing sunset or watching my kids play in the yard as I feel that fresh breeze sweep across my face!  I have thought more and more about my passion and how I truly want to change the world.  I think about so many people who have such deep rooted passions in their hearts but never allow their dreams to become reality just because of fear.  Once you begin to see God’s power everything begins to change. I am watching so many of my friends see God’s power in their lives and their anxieties have begun to slowly come down and they are learning to trust with abandon!

Today as you sit here reading this glimpse into my life I want you to look at things you wanted to accomplish but didn’t, or dreamed of becoming but stopped and realize that God made you with a PERFECT purpose. I was made with perfection in mind! Embrace that and know that God will equip you, provide for you, and show mercy to you, open doors for you and BLOW YOUR MIND in the process!

Exodus 33 ⁷ Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. ⁸ And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. ⁹ As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the LORD spoke with Moses. ¹⁰ Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped each at the entrance to his tent. ¹¹ The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

2 Corinthians 3: ¹²Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. ¹³We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away,. ¹⁴But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. ¹⁵Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. ¹⁶But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ¹⁷Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ¹⁸And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect^[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Timing is everything

Today is September 29th and so much has happened since my last post. I have been on this huge roller coaster of emotions.  My husband’s mom passed away on the 22nd and the days and weeks leading up to her death many events and emotions happened… very stressful, full of anxiety, excitement for the Beauty within,  spending time with friends from out of town…. Let me sum up my last 2 or 3 weeks for you! On September 13 the searching for the Beauty within seminar went amazing!  Matt spoke and shared his heart for how girls should be treated as well as his passion to see all girls see themselves as beautiful to the ONLY one who matters:) The drama’s were unbelievable and grabbed your heart each time, the fashion show, testimony’s, food it all went so well. When it was time for me to speak, I had this lump in my throat and really wanted to say so much and I felt as if I rambled at times but I didn’t care because it was my time to share my heart and to reveal who I was underneath the label of mom, youth leader, friend, etc! I have realized that outward appearances of everything we own eventually fade.  The same with flowers, they are beautiful, smell great but over time their beauty also fades.  When we realize that who we are in Christ, we then see ourselves as beautul… not in a prideful way just confident because we have placed our identity in Christ alone! Psalm 108!  so after the seminar….my mother n law begin to decline even more and it begin to take 24 hours a day of my time and also my husband’s time to be there with her. We missed  living 2 and half weeks of  our lives to be with a life that was ending. These past few weeks will forever be carved in my mind.  My perception of how I view the timing and plans of God have also changed. Throughout the time we were there we would laugh together, we cried A LOT, we joked with one another and we ate A LOT! One afternoon I found an old journal of mine from 1996-1997 that I had written in almost everyday. I wrote daily about how I wanted God to save my sister among other prayer request about self image, and  I prayed for my brother and also Janice during that year…now 12 years later God’s timing was everything! My sister and her husband gave their lives to Christ about 2 months ago  and they both are so hungry for God, and they want and desires to be used by Him. Now I know that God heard my prayers in 1996 and again in 1999, and 2005 and so on…but I also know that God had to put the key people in Tiffany’s life and allow circumstances in her life to stir her heart and then when the HIS TIMING was right she chose to accept Him!  My relationship with Janice has meant so much to me ove the years!  I remember as she layed there breathing her very last breaths, I prayed for God to relieve her pain and allow her to be In His presence, and then once she breathed that last breath, I cried for God to give her one more breath! I realized that it was only for me because she had impacted my life in ways I couldn’t even fathom…… She has never said anything NEGATIVE to me, she has always lifted me up, and told me all the  things I so badly long to hear!  VALIDATION was her middle name! At her funeral, everyone who had spoken with her ever all said the same thing about her, and even the pastor said ” I have NEVER met anyone like her in all my years of being a pastor!” That should tell you just how special she was! You see God’s timing in both of these situations needed to happen and yes it hurts and yes I still pray for other family members to be saved I realized that God’s timing was everything!…..The funeral is over, the food is now gone, the company is no more and we are back to the work, soccer, church, busy stuff. But Richard is hurting so badly and we know we have a long road ahead of us with dealing with our grief, and getting things taken care of.  So please continue to pray for all that…..Coming out of all this I have a new desire to read His word. I had no computer to blog, or to read blogs or anything else for that matter, so I would sit by her bed and read my Bible and re-read my journal from back in college and then  I would write new thoughts.  I want to share with you some things that God has shown me!  First of all in

Exodus 3:23-25 23 Years passed, and the king of Egypt died. But the Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. 24 God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 25 He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act.^[c]  

YEARS PASSED … I thought about the time that has passed over the years and how some of my prayers have been that constant groaning of wanting to see my sister’s life changed.   When I read the last sentence  “and knew it was time to act” I realized that we go through seasons of our lives, we go through droughts, we go through death, pain, numbness, joy, and so on for a purpose, for character growth, for something!  But when God hears our cries it doesn’t mean He doesn’t have a plan in place and something isn’t happening.  God is in control and Its hard for me to sometimes grasp that!   I continued reading further down and  I begin to read the burning bush story and God just took these verses below and pierced my heart!

Exodus 3 2 There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing fire from the middle of a bush. Moses stared in amazement. Though the bush was engulfed in flames, it didn’t burn up. 3 “This is amazing,” Moses said to himself. “Why isn’t that bush burning up? I must go see it.” 4 When the Lord saw Moses coming to take a closer look, God called to him from the middle of the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

How many times have I seen God at work and ran the other direction…like tons! I am at work around many “burning bushes”, I see God doing things in frienships, in circumstances but choose to not move toward God but away from His presence due to the fact I may have my “own” stuff going on, or the situations may not benefit me.   I love this part…now stay with me! Moses said I must go see this…and when the LORD SAW HIM COMING He called out to Moses!   I have known that God was doing something in a certain situation, and instead of running straight to Him for renewal, or answers, or direction I wouldI turn to friends, or I would let my pride guide me and then I would chose not to act or react. My hesistation led to cancellation…(Gina’s quote) and then before I knew it  the opportunity had passed! WHEN THE LORD SAW HIM COMING towards Him He called out to Moses…not when Moses saw the bush, but after he begin to move toward it!  I was blown away by this!  I have started reading a Psalm a day and a few days later I read  in Psalm 27 three truths that still have me speechless…..

Psalm 27

 4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
      the thing I seek most—
   is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
      delighting in the Lord’s perfections
      and meditating in his Temple.

WHAT DO I SEEK MOST? still questioning that one, and of course I desire to serve God and to be in the middle of His perfect will but when I ask myself that I can’t answer it?  what is the ONE THING I SEEK MOST? hmmmm

 8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
      And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

when I read that I got straight up chills! The Hospice nurse told us the last organ to go was your hearing! and a friend of mine Lori said look at all the ways satan distracts us now…we are an ipod generation they say this generation will have hearing problems when they get older now think about that satan knows the last thing to go is your hearing!  wow! I asked myself this.. Do I GO when I hear God calling me to do something? Do I respond YES Lord ? I often get so frustrated or mad at Rebekah and Rachel when they don’t respond to me or if they ignore my request or don’t acknowledge something I have done for them! …but my selfish heart often hears God’s sweet voice and yet I don’t respond! I see Him working and don’t react, or I have prayers answered and blessing brought my way and yet I don’t praise Him?  This is such truth to me, and I get it! and the truth hurts!
 

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
      Be brave and courageous.
      Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

I have an issue with this because in my mind my desire to serve God is stronger than EVER  and yet I have to wait? I don’t undertstand that! I realize that GOd is moving and I have to just move towards Him and then He will see that I am coming towards Him and call out to me!

So okay this has been a record for the longest blog I have ever written, but I hope you see that God’s timing is everything and we have to be willing to SEE first, Listen and then move toward Him! God is in control and we have to just trust Him fully and give it all we have, looking and realizing that there are burning bushes all around us!! BLOOM WHERE YOUR PLANTED, but allow God to BLOOM YOU:)

Psalm 28 7 The Lord is my strength and shield.
      I trust him with all my heart.
   He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
      I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

ummm…I need some encouragement..like now:)

Psalm 138

A psalm of David.

 1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart;
      I will sing your praises before the gods.
 2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
      I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
   for your promises are backed
      by all the honor of your name.
 3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
      you encourage me by giving me strength.

 

Each day when you look in the mirror, you see your flaws first. When you see a zit, or a hair out of place it can ruin your whole day. (for me anyway) God made us so perfect in HIS image, and I forget it everytime I see myself. On July 4th my cuz and her husband and little girl along with my hubby and 2 girls went to Carowinds! (I know insane!) but the anxiety of getting in a bathing suit and just watching for someone to look at me, or how I noticed ever single skinny girl there! Its overwhelming! but you know God knows my fears, my constant stress of wanting to be beautiful in the eyes of others. But He also is the very one who calms my stress, turns my fear into a passion to tell others that HE made me just the way I am! This verse gives me such hope, because I want to worship God with all my heart and not when I am just spiritually soaring…..But when I have those days and I am just too tired to weak to praise Him verse 3 says…as I pray “you encourage me by giving me strength”…..ahhhh amazing:) Holly

Beauty Within Seminar….Septemeber 13th

Tickets on sale NOW!

Chapel Grove Baptist Church (704-864-6134)

$12.00 (Early Bird)

After August 17th $15.00

check us out on Faithfreaks!    http://www.faithfreaks.com/61157

myspace page too! web address soon……