I am overwhelmed and filled with such excitement for what 2012 holds but if we could just start this month over that would be great! In just 10 days I have had major car trouble, my hubby and I both have had the flu, my bank card was stolen and used by who knows for a few hundred bucks. I am laughing as I type just those few things but finally things are now settling down (afraid to say that). God has shown me so much in a year’s time. I have learned more than anything that He is sovereign. He knows my heart… He made it. He gave me dreams… He birthed them inside me. He called me to speak… He gave me a story to share. Over and over I keep looking at His word and I see that in every old and new Testament story God is in complete control. I have spent this past year walking beside my husband as he embraced a calling on his life to start a church from the ground with no help from an organization or a church. At times I prayed WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING GOD and now just 12 or so weeks in Revolution church has seen 80+ come to know Jesus and yet again I am reminded that He is in control. We waste so much time worrying about the very details that God wants to use to grow us, push us and move us into a place of His leading. God has led me through some pretty rough moments throughout ministry and also through some pretty dark places where my thoughts reflected lies from a mirror about just how disgusting I was. I have struggled with approval addiction, self image, body image, fear, insecurities, my past, obesity and food addiction (to name a few). One of the biggest moments in my faith was several years ago when I realized that God wanted to use the ugly places within me to bring Him glory. As I fought and struggled through them little did I know I would walk out of several of those struggles victorious!! Through each one a new layer would be stripped from my heart and as I stood before God with just my heart and all the junk He simply wrapped His love and grace around me and as He squeezed I begin to see HIM and no longer me. What a freeing moment to NOT have to worry about me me me and also a great realization of just how selfish I had become. When we hide behind the struggle and do nothing but talk about it and point to it and give excuses about it how is that pointing to a God who can deliver us from it. I had to position myself behind the very one who was going to lead me into victory. I no longer hate a mirror nor do I care what people think about me when walking through a restaurant I wear funky glitter polish, clothes that often don’t match or even look remotely “in style” but I am me and I can say that with a smile. This past year I stood before the giant of obesity and food addiction and I stared up at this HUGE giant ( no pun intended) and I remember saying there is NO WAY to defeat this. My word for 2011 was discipline and January-April there wasn’t so much of that in my life. I spent most of my time and energy chasing my tail just to stay a float. I read a book by Lysa Terkeurst called Made to Crave and God began to reveal to me that my body and the extra bulge was sin in my life. I realized that this food addiction had to be stopped. I began to take small baby steps and now 8 months later I have lost 35 pounds. I started in a size 24 and I am moving into an 18. I am BELIEVING that my Creator has a purpose for me and wants to give me the desires of my heart. I started this year a little on the rough side but the JOY I have down deep can’t be shaken or stolen from me. My God is sovereign! My ONE word for 2012 is BELIEVE. Luke 1:45 says “You are blessed because you BEIEVED that the Lord would do what he said”. This verse is being burned into my brain and even better into my heart. God is up to HUGE things and I don’t have to worry about the details. Next month I will be running in the Disney princess ½ marathon with one of my best friends and our daughters. We can’t run 13.1 miles yet but two months ago I couldn’t run 30 seconds and I am up to over 2 miles. Please continue to pray for me as I continue on a journey that literally is changing my life. BE ENCOURAGED today dream BIGGER and know that the Creator of the universe wants to USE YOU to change the world!!