Spring is almost here and so is another bloom:)

Because my God goes before me and knows the fears and insecurities that often plague my mind He sends His truth to me and I have no other reason than to rest in His faithfulness. As I begin this new season of becoming a pastor’s wife I have already heard so many jokes and I laugh and it’s all in great fun. But deep down I feel myself moving into a glass house and I see the expectations of others rising as well. I believe that God has placed the most incredible group of ladies around me and I find myself thanking God for them daily! I see how quickly loneliness and other emotions can creep in just because you are afraid of messing up. This often leads you to withdrawal yourself and to step away from people in order to NOT fail them. In the midst of all that satan tries to steal your joy, silence your voice, kill your dreams and keep you from blooming. I also know that my God is My Joy! He gave me those dreams! He has my thoughts and He brings forth my bloom!!

Isaiah 61:10-11 I will sing for joy in God,
explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,
He outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo
and a bride a jeweled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations

I will rest in His faithfulness follow in His obedience and allow a NEW bloom to spring forth in my heart and as all that takes place I will also remain who I am-just me ….simply me:)

Holly..

self image vs Rocky Balboa:)

I really think  food and self image no longer have the best of me, and somehow through prayer, self discovery I truly feel like I have had this huge leap out of the pit of self image issues. well…I go shopping today with my friend and she has lost a good bit of weight..still beautiful as always and such an amazing friend to me. She truly sees people as people and not color, weight, or any other stereo type….I felt so gross all day, didn’t buy anything for myself because every time I saw a mirror or just a reflection I hated what I saw!! I thought to myself, you are the director of Searching for the Beauty Within, and you have founded a ministry called UNBOUND meaning being set free how could you struggle with these issues of not liking who you are! WELL I did all day, I  got in the car listened to The Real Me by Natalie Grant and I felt like I was right back at the beginning….Why is it that spring, summer, shopping, and even eating for that matter allows the demon of self image to rise its stupid head? I know that God made me, I know that I am loved for who I am by most people and to allow satan to literally clog my mind all day with these stupid thoughts is beyond me. I stand on stage and tell girls to see themselves through the eyes of Christ, and yet today I only saw myself through my own  eyes….so tonight…I ate tomato soup played with my beautiful girls, kissed my sweet husband and reminded myself that this is the one thing that keeps me on my face before God daily I going to praise Him no matter what……..but I admit, I wish I had Rocky Balboa to knock it out for good:) a new day 2morrow…..

1 Peter 3:4 ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Psalm 139: ¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

¹⁷ How precious are your thoughts about me,^[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
¹⁸ I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

somebody needs to see this…including myself:)

I’m at a loss for words, there’s nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering, what led me to this place?

How did my heart become so lifeless and cold?
Where did the passion go?

And all my efforts seem like chasing the wind
I’ve used up all my strength and there’s nothing left to give

I’ve lost the feeling and I’m numb to the core
I can’t fake it anymore

Here I am
At the end
I’m in need of resurrection
Only you can take this empty shell
And raise it from the dead

What I lost in the world
What seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in your hand
And make me whole again

I’m at a loss for words, there’s nothing to say
I’ve used up all my strength and there’s nothing left to give
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold?
Can’t fake it anymore

Here I am
At the end
I’m in need of resurrection
Only you can take this empty shell
And raise it from the dead

What I lost in the world
What seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in your hand
And make me whole again

*Lyrics by Nicol Sponburg

To all of you who are at the place of not understanding, feeling rejected, or you have doubt, or fear is over taking you, or frustration or anger has set in! I have been in every place and I am in a place of well….I am not sure, because I am at a loss for words but like my bff  Natalie Grant (hee hee) says…I WILL NOT BE MOVED:)! Holly