This morning I left my cell phone at home and after getting ticked off and almost turning around and going and getting it I realized that Jesus wanted to speak to me and I needed NO distractions. I began to pray out loud and as I prayed my eyes filled with tears and I could feel God listening to me! I have prayed for almost a month on some things and begged God to give me wisdom, courage and most of all clarity to do what HE wanted me to do. When I pulled up to the stop light I picked up my bible and began reading in Psalms and as I read the verses tears flowed from face because I knew in that moment that something I had been praying about was ending. I could feel it and it hurt. I didn’t want it to end this way, nor did I ever see it coming. My heart pounded with pain and in the midst of every racing thought God gave me this….
Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my plea and for mercy. The Lord is MY STRENGTH and my shield; in Him my heart trusts and I am helped: my heart exults and with my song I give thanks to Him.
God searches the deepest places of my heart and sees the ugly and still loves me. He sees the pain that is swelling up inside and He heals me. He knows my thoughts and yet He consumes me. I have spent my entire life living in the shadows of trying to be who others have wanted me to be and yet I lost who God created me to be in the mix. I know He has called me to pour into girls of all ages and I know that He created me with a heart that beats for girls in bondage to the very same things I was. I have based my decisions and words and choices at times on the fear of how others would respond to me and when I read Romans 15 this morning God spoke directly to me…
Romans 15:5 May the GOD OF ENDURANCE and ENCOURAGEMENT grant you to live in such harmony with one another….
Romans 15:18:May the God OF HOPE fill you with ALL JOY and PEACE in believing, so that by the power of the Holy spirit you may abound in HOPE!
God knew I was hungry for encouragement and for strength this morning and He let me know that HE INVENTED IT! I encourage you to look around you who are you surrounded by? Are you desperate for endurance? Hope? Encouragement? Approval? Friendships want last..in fact some die. Relationships want last …in fact some die but realizing that your hope isn’t wrapped up in popularity, approval, your calling and even your passion but a God who wants to be YOUR EVERYTHING:)
sweet surrender…. nothing like it!