Not going to move….

Today I am filled with so many emotions 🙂 I am super excited about all that God is doing in my life and the direction He is taking it. I am also very thankful for all the new friendships I have formed just in the past few weeks. God connects the dots in our lives at the most perfect timing! This Saturday is the anniversary of when my dad was killed and I always seem to think about him more at this time and I begin to really miss him. We didn’t have a really close relationship and that led me into making dumb decisions growing up.   I do remember the little things like him sending me cards in college or stopping and getting me a HUGE jar of pickles and pickled weenies when I was pregnant with Rebekah.  I remember driving to see his brothers and sisters in SC and we would play the cow game all the way there and just talk on the way back.  As far back as I can remember he would always tear up and cry when he drove off. I don’t think he realized how much he had hurt us but I knew he hurt when he drove away each time.  I also seem to be in a place of needing strength. I am so busy but I desperately want to be used by God and to speak His name J I want my life to be a reflection of who He is. I have to remind myself all the time that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER (Romans 8:28) circumstances that seem so hard or when I hear stories that just rip my heart out I say YOU ARE GOD and you are in complete control.  My latest song addiction is You are God by Kirk Franklin/Toby Mac. I have listened to it over and over and it’s like God is speaking into my soul. BE STILL…When I am questioning my circumstances, or when I am in need of a blessing or an encounter with God.. He speaks through it all and says BE Still don’t move! The song talks about wrestling and fussing at God because he wants control and at the end he gives up and says I am not God YOU ARE~ That is it! Just like Jacob He wrestled with God ALL night and said I am not stopping until you bless me!  I want to wrestle until I find myself face to face with God! For me it’s letting go of my desires, my dreams and allowing Him to fill me up with His purpose for my life. The perfect plan! Once I seek Him all the details seem so minor and just falling more in love with Him is where I find myself. I want to be at his feet and soak up all that I can. People always ask me “where are you with Christ today>” I can’t really say where I am today but I can tell you that I am clinging to hope! I am hopeful that God is doing something that is certain to rock my world and at the same time teach me and guide me into His perfect plan for my life!  My mother in law would sit back in her chair look out her window describe the flowers outside with such creativity and vibrant colors and words! She would look at the circumstances on the news and say God is in control we got to just trust Him! She would say Holly you are beautiful don’t dare let anyone tell you other wise!  She would love my kids with all she has! I miss her too and I know that this Sunday is going to be hard for both me and Richard! Our first mothers day without herJ Be encouraged and know that He is in control even when things seem so OUT OF CONTROLJ Don’ give up on the people you care about, Don’t give up on your dreams, Don’t stop seeking God, Don’t allow this world to dictate who you are, Fight with all you have!….JACOB DIDJ

 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
      But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. 28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, [e] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” 29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, [f] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

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