chirp chirp chirp??? what are they saying?

Its been raining for a few days now. I am sitting at the computer working on my small group study for tonight and outside my window all I can hear are birds chirping so loudly. I mean its as if they know exactly what each other are saying I wish I could say yes? and they answer me back in chirp chirp and I could understand…HAHAHA thats weird and so ace ventura!…I have found myself in so many different places this week (spiritually speaking) I started the week off really seeking God and  wanting to hear His voice and truly longing for something to happen with UNBOUND. As I begin to read, so many verses would take me to the same theme…..confidently trusting, waiting patiently, and understanding that God is in ultimate control of my life. I have struggled more these past few weeks  with self image than I have in months or even years.  I don’t understand it, and it truly ticks me off! I get so down on my self so I choose to eat. I begin to gain weight and then I begin to hate what I see over and over and then it begins to consume my thoughts and then it effects my worship, and my passion! I have no doubt on the calling in my life, I know that I am called to share my story! yet I question the very circumstances I am in? the very circumstances I am suppose to praise God for and seek His hand in my life??? so frustrating! I have learned this week that I first of all am still trying to embrace FREEDOM in my life. I don’t mean freedom in Christ (Salvation) I have embraced that wholeheartedly  I mean freedom in the middle my struggle! I look around me and I see girls of all ages that need to be freed. I want them to get it!.  I often wonder about people like Natalie Grant (my bff) she has always talked about the struggle as in past tense..does she ever still have to take those thoughts captive and say NO I am not going to surrender to struggle again. I kept thinking about all the areas of my life where I struggle the most… it all stems from self image! I  struggle with liking who God created me to be and that effects my confidence, my worship and my passion for life at times..Ephesians 2:10 says “we are God’s MASTERPIECE. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” WOW! I am a masterpiece.. The days when my hair looks good, or if I do really well on a diet and begin to lose weight I still don’t see it, I feel down deep the heart of rejection and the yearning to feel completed.  I am in love with my savior and I know that through Him I will experience true freedom. I love  that this ministry is not based on the fact we tell girls YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL AMAZING…or that your struggle will never try to put you back into bondage…I want to offer hope and truth in the middle of the hardest days, and the storms we face. I know that God is stirring the hearts of those girls both young and old that  we will come in contact with. I have learned one thing this week from a pod cast I watched I can’t seem to shake this…” Following Jesus is not about behavior modification its about the issues of the heart” Pete Wilson….. My behavior can change, and I can act as if I got it together, but know that in my heart I am a mess. I can’t change my eating habits alone I have got to embrace that God loves for ME and allow Him to transform my thoughts and 🙂 big or small! I sat in church this morning, and I honestly could not focus on what the pastor was saying because I was fighting back the tears! The last book I read was by Francis Chan CRAZY LOVE I can’t even begin to tell you how much this book challenged me and showed me the areas of my life where I didn’t show my insane love for Jesus Christ! I want nothing more than others to NOT see me but to see the hope in Christ alone. I am praying for something over the top to happen this week, for God to be revealed in your life, for you to encounter Him like you never have before! Be transformed:)

Dear God,

I am sorry if I ask for blessings and not obedience to your voice. Please help to recognize and discover what your plan and purpose is for my life as you continue to complete me…your masterpiece:)

Ephesians 2:10

love to all:)

UNBOUND Ministry…..BEING set free:)

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