This week has gone by SOOO slow! I have had a lot of desk work to do, so I haven’t been able to go and see all of my consumers much. I am preparing for a trip to Disney with my family the week of Thanksgiving, and I am so excited about that. My cousin and I have been perfecting our schedule for the week! I am sooo ready for a break…You might ask why? Since May my life has been a roller coaster of emotions. Losing my mother in law, Rebekah starting middle school, gaining weight, losing weight, youth stuff, finances…you name it, its happened. I thought about when you are blending a fruit shake and how you need. ice, ice cream, milk, sugar, fruit etc:)J You then blend it all together and you get this most wonderful yummy shake. I was thinking…. what if I could throw my doubt, my anxieties, my fear, my confusion, my pain, my sadness…blend it together and know that God is going to make something beautiful out of it. Honestly I believe that is exactly what happens ( I just can’t seem to believe it sometimes). When I am in the middle of something that brings those emotions, I run to God with all I have (usually in a crying moment because I am finally giving up control) because He is the only ONE that can change my outlook on my circumstances. I want to see the beauty out of all the junk. Yesterday when I came to work, I was told there was a memo that everyone had in their boxes and the whole company had received it!!…It read something like this….”Mandatory meeting for all employees. Please bring your keys and consumer chart stuff any other related items to this meeting. NO ONE KNOWS ANYTHING!!!! Some of them are packing up their desk, and claiming layoff, some are laughing and making light of the situation on the outside, but I can tell they are scared to death on the inside. I prayed yesterday, and I prayed this morning all the way to work for our CEO! I can’t even imagine the anxiety she must be feeling. I am not worried for some reason, now maybe fearful of what is to come but I am not going to doubt God’s hand in this. I love my consumers and I enjoy being with them and their families. I love to encourage and smile and offer hope, but that doesn’t mean I have job security. I hate I mean I HATE paperwork; I was not created to sit behind a desk by no means. For some that is irritating and others you get me! My friend Erin, who pours truth into my life! She told me to look for God’s faithfulness in the little things…how amazing is that! When she said that to me, it was like God was speaking directly to me! I grew up in a constant frenzy! Late for everything, never had it together and always a mess. Since I have gotten married, and know the feelings I had as a kid I truly try and make things easy for my kids. I love for them to be on time, I hate crisis! In the mornings. I am always jumping in the car with NO time to spare! I am grabbing my make up bag as we drive to school, Rachel is asking me crazy questions such as “mommy why do worms curl up when they die?” I am signing last minute notes, I am digging for a dollar, my cell phone is going off, and at the same time I am trying to enjoy my time with Rachel on the way to school (Richard takes Bek). So this past week I have done just that. I have gotten up earlier, put my make up on after I have dropped her off, and turned my phone off until I have gotten to work. I have noticed beautiful sunrises, beautiful fall leaves pouring from trees in a massive down pour, I have heard God speak to me, and I have felt His presence. What’s your favorite milk shake? Mine is def Reese cup! I want all Reese cups and a little ice cream. I was just thinking about how the candy is crushed into small tiny pieces and yet the whole shake taste just like a whole Reese cup! My life is filled with so many emotions, and God is showing me so much about who He is as well as who I am! My one word for 2009 is THIRST! I want to be emptied and so dry! I want my THIRST to be quenched with HIM alone! His love! His power! His endurance! His strength! His purpose! His vision! His speech! I want to be DRENCHED in Christ! I want to be so thirsty for Him that NOTHING gets in the way of seeing Him in every situation. So today I have a 4:00 meeting with a bit of anxiety, but not scared just a uncomfortable feeling. God I want to be blended…..into something BEAUTIFUL!
Psalm 42:2 NLT I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
Message:A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek;
I want to drink God,
deep draughts of God.
I’m thirsty for God-alive.
I wonder, “Will I ever make it—
arrive and drink in God’s presence?”
My song for today: Enough lyrics
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know