M-Fuge is over and we are back in the routine of work, work and more work. I left Gastonia with the expectation of going to Nashville and my life being radically changed as I served others. WRONG! I wanted to be with homeless people, I wanted to interact with small children that lived among gangs, violence and drugs, and I wanted to serve the elderly in nursing homes. I WANT I WANT I WANT…how selfish am I? The first night in worship we found out where we are placed for the week. I signed up for the following tracks… 1.Social 2.Creative and on my third choice I wrote…NOT PCY. I was pretty confident in my 1st choice and when they called my name and I went with my group, it was definitely Games and Rec. I was ticked off! Now I had being praying for months that God would put me exactly where I needed to be, but I suddenly had amnesia and didn’t want to see the good. When our track leader started telling us what we would be doing I know my mouth dropped! I was placed with youth and adults with special needs/disabilities. I was so upset and didn’t want to be there, and even considered going to talk to the director about changing me. Afterwards, I went up to the room ( 5th floor NO ELEVATOR) and collapsed with anguish (one because I am NOT in shape and the other because I was mad at God for not giving me what I WANTED) I almost cried; now don’t get me wrong I love anyone with physical disabilities and special needs but ITS MY DAILY JOB! I wanted to do something totally different because I wanted to feel as if I were doing some great and mighty service in this big city of Nashville. Instead I went to the movies, bowling, walked a trail, played games, did the electric slide and went swimming! I really had a hard time with this the first two days. When I met my partner for the week, little by little my heart melted. I began to see that God had me there for two reasons. I realized that I must bloom where I am planted! Kyle Matthews (whom I loved) was at our church a few weeks ago and afterwards I met him and told him my passion to speak to teenage girls all over the world about self image issues and also my desire to serve in a full time ministry position, Richard talked to him about his book he is writing (he has over 3 chapters written already) and Kyle encouraged us so much and then he said the words I didn’t want to hear….BLOOM WHERE YOUR PLANTED! UGGGGGGH I think I struggle so much with this statement because the people that I want motivation and encouragement from give me NONE! I want them to see the fire that burns in my heart and allow me to use my gifts, but nothing ever comes out but the negative! That is so discouraging but at the same time, it gives me that much more motivation to serve God for Him alone and not for others to see or approve! I am planted in the job here and I must bloom exactly where I am(#2) I saw the people I serve on a daily basis holding hands with one another, helping each other play the games, encourage one another and the support was overwhelming. They loved each other despite of the disability and despite of their color, gender or economic status. So many times we let our prejudice, our insecurities, our fears block us from seeing people for who they really are and how God made them. I get so frustrated when people make these kind of statements about a homeless person “They need to get a job”, “they will go and buy drugs with what I give them” When really we should ask I wonder what happened to bring them to this point in their life. I have the gift of mercy and I totally get that not everyone does, but Christ is who we are to model after, and He never questioned, just met their need first and then pointed them spiritually in the right direction. One thing I took away from M-Fuge is that if I am asking God to be in control of all areas of my life than I must trust fully in Him. Until God calls me out of my 8 hour behind a desk job I must first realize that blooming where I am planted means to quit wanting something else, when so much could happen right where I am. If I plant a seed in Gastonia, its not going to grow in Tokyo (Gina that was for you) I must realize that loving those around me, seeing people through God’s eyes, passionately pursuing God, and allowing God to use me right where I am will do things beyond my wildest dreams. I do have dreams and I refuse to let others kill them….don’t be a dream killer they are mean!
Love to allJ Holly
Matthew 5:8 (Message)”You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
Isaiah 2:1-5 (Message) He’ll show us the way he works
so we can live the way we’re made.”
Ephesians 3:20 (Message) God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Gina wrote a song about this, if my dreams don’t take me to Nashville, than this song will hahahahahahaha:)
Bloom where we’re planted
Seems like nobody understands we’re called to do great things And we just can’t we escape no matter how hard we flap our wings We’re sure God heard our yes when we first heard His call And within five seconds told Him we’d go anywhere at all Our mind is full of ideas and we’ve got our bags all packed Seems like every time we start walking away something pulls us back
We gotta bloom where we’re planted, if we really want to grow A tree that’s planted in this town don’t sprout in Tokyo We’ve refused ‘cause we been confused about where our seed is thrown So for today, right here is where we’ll stay, and go when God says go
We’ll travel to another country to share the hope of the lord Forgetting bout our lost neighbor who’s livin’ right next door We’ll be a brother or sister at the boys and girls club Forgetting bout the kids in our own church nobody’s takin care of We’ll travel to another coast to help rebuild broken lives Forgetting bout the one laying by us in the bed each night
Instead of the river Jordon, we might be called to the city lakes Let’s stop telling God what is best ‘cause He don’t make mistakes
Don’t refuse, what He’s called us to because now we both know So for today, right here is where we’ll stay, and we’ll go when God says go