will you just hold my hand?

This morning has given me a headache, I mean full blown need a BC powder to get through it kinda morning. Rebekah has hit a stage that I knew was coming, but was not prepared for. She is 10 in the 5th grade and each morning its an all out WAR getting her to pick clothes out. I suddenly lost my since of fashion where she is concerned. I get so frustrated, and then I end up yelling and then we get in the car and I say ok, lets pray  before you guys get out. I am not getting my #1 mom speech prepared at this point. I am around teenagers all the time, and I see their rolling eyes, deep breaths, shrugging of the shoulders mentality and I am totally ok with it, but when Rebekah looks at me  and her eyes start shooting darts……..oh..I could just scream! Richard is so good about sticking up for me (always has been) and I realized that this morning, as I sat down to try and eat at least 2 bites of my bagel, how truly blessed I am to have  him in my corner. My mom didn’t have anyone to back her up until my step dad came along when I was in the 9th grade. I can’t imagine doing this alone! I was a smart mouth, always did the opposite of what she would say, never cleaned teen! I was the middle child…(not the baby, and not the first born) I wanted to find identify in something, but couldn’t. So anyways…Richard stepped in and took control, never raising his voice just stated the obvious and just like that it was over. I couldn’t believe the level of respect those girls gave him! WOW jaw dropping! I was so relieved and fed up at this point, I sat at the table and while Richard finished getting ready, and Rebekah was cleaning her room (shutting drawers, turning lights off), and Rachel was looking for jewelry and nail polish to match her outfit (yes I am serious) I started praying…”God I usually say will you bless my family today, but today its different, I just need You to hold my hand and help me walk through it.” I really feel like sometimes we just want God to fix it, rather than take a moment to learn, and to mold and embrace those teachable moments. I should have had the “what are you wearing 2morrow” conversation  finished last night and then this morning would have been a lot smoother. But you know honestly I may have not surrendered the struggle of it all if it hadn’t happened. I need moments such as this to help me realize that God has the control and He is teaching me so much. Being a parent is hard, and I have a special respect for parents of tweens and teens! I was reading in my book (Chasing Daylight) and I came across a quote that says. “Divine moments often look like inconviences on  the front end” I got it, this morning was a moment that clearly was an inconvience for me because I failed on so many levels, but when I got in the car to head to school Rebekah and I first apologized and then discussed what happened and how we could make it better. Her prayer was to embrace who she was…sigh:)  She smiled as she got out of the car and I felt much much better as I drove away. Taking moments like these to mold our children is huge, but for me its even bigger when God does a work in my own life.

1 Samuel 14:13-23

 13 Jonathan climbed up, using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer right behind him. The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer followed and killed behind him. 14 In that first attack Jonathan and his armor-bearer killed some twenty men in an area of about half an acre. [a]

Israel Routs the Philistines

 15 Then panic struck the whole army—those in the camp and field, and those in the outposts and raiding parties—and the ground shook. It was a panic sent by God. [b]

 16 Saul’s lookouts at Gibeah in Benjamin saw the army melting away in all directions. 17 Then Saul said to the men who were with him, “Muster the forces and see who has left us.” When they did, it was Jonathan and his armor-bearer who were not there.

 18 Saul said to Ahijah, “Bring the ark of God.” (At that time it was with the Israelites.) [c] 19 While Saul was talking to the priest, the tumult in the Philistine camp increased more and more. So Saul said to the priest, “Withdraw your hand.”

 20 Then Saul and all his men assembled and went to the battle. They found the Philistines in total confusion, striking each other with their swords. 21 Those Hebrews who had previously been with the Philistines and had gone up with them to their camp went over to the Israelites who were with Saul and Jonathan. 22 When all the Israelites who had hidden in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were on the run, they joined the battle in hot pursuit. 23 So the LORD rescued Israel that day, and the battle moved on beyond Beth Aven.

Don’t let time get by….embrace those moments!

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