A New day….

I am so overwhelmed with emotions right now, I can’t even begin to explain the feelings I have. God has shown me so much this weekend, and over the past several months about Himself, His timing, His unconditional love, His purpose and vision for my life. I had the most amazing time at Battlecry this weekend. On Friday evening, I was so tired but could not sleep at all, I mean so restless to the point that my mind was racing and thoughts were flying through my head. I got up and said God what do you want me to do…( in a stern way) it was about 12:30 am or so. I got my bible went into the cold bathroom and sat in the floor with my bible and said “God I am not getting up until you give me something”…at 4:30am I got up and went to bed! those 4 hours were filled with tears and at the same time relief and joy! It was just me and Jesus just sitting together…He showed me so much about myself that I have never seemed to grasp fully.  The Beauty Within Seminar is my passion! I want girls to understand that no matter what the stupid media says, parents who don’t validate, peers who are just mean…that they are BEAUTIFUL! I came across two different passages that night ( I will post them at the bottom). As I read it, it clicked for me. Ecclesiastes 11 is talking about not understanding certain things that happen in our lives, but at the same time continuing to trust and pursue God with all you are. It says plant the seed and remain busy all day! My passion is the Beauty Within, and the more I talk about it with people, the more discouraged I was getting. Only a few can honestly see my Vision ( I mean less than a handful) and others say ok, sure but I don’t think they really understand the driving force behind it all! so any ways…I then read Ephesians 3:20 and I was blown away..I struggle with asking for things I need for the seminar, worry about the funding, the speaker, the decorations, the bags, the songs, everything…last night God showed me that He is way bigger than budgets, funding,doubts,negativity…..He will give me MORE than I ask for! I GOT IT! I mean I really GOT IT! The very next night at battlecry, I had no idea what Ron Luce was gong to speak about, ok get this it was on DREAMS/VISIONS!!! and yes you guessed it the verse was EPHESIANS 3:20 he also said that there were dream killers out there that pull you away from the very purpose God has for your life! I am not backing down, I am going to PURSUE with all my heart! God didn’t say here is your purpose for your life, and its going to be easy cheezy!! no Paul begged and pleaded for his thorn to be removed, and yet he continued and pushed forward with all he had, all the while relying on God to make his purpose known. I have struggled with feeling ugly, fat, not good enough, not measuring up, not being smart enough, wanting others to see that I was for real….but guess what, Its a NEW day:) I am so over that, I don’t CARE what you think.  When we allow satan to cloud our minds with empty emotions, and feelings then we begin to lose the sight of the very purpose we were created for. I have dieted all my life, lost weight and then gained weight and then lost weight, and something remained the same..i still felt the feelings I had before, losing a few pounds didn’t fix what was underneath it all! approval from anyone other than GOD! I am moving forward with the plans for the Beauty Within, and I know that the gym at our church is going to be transformed into this amazing place for teenage girls to meet Christ for the first time, be blown away by the realness of people who struggle with “dying to be beautiful” and all at the same time understand that God made us just like we are…simply BEAUTIFUL:)

Ecclesiastes 11 1-6  1Send your grain across the seas,and in time, profits will flow back to you.2 But divide your investments among many places,for you do not know what risks might lie ahead. 3 When clouds are heavy, the rains come down.Whether a tree falls north or south, it stays where it falls. 4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant.If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things. 6 Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.

Ephesians 3:20 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Searching for the Beauty Within Seminar info coming soon!   

myspace/website coming soon!


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