I have a friend of mine who always hears from God in the bath tub or in the shower and we call those naked revelations. I have another friend who will get goose bumps all over her body when she feels God. I thought about both of those this morning and how I often feel like I am screaming for God to DO something, or SAY something and I hear or feel nothing. I came across Psalm 5:3 and it says:

 3 In the morning, O LORD, You hear my voice;
       in the morning I lay my requests before you
       and wait in expectation.

Even though I don’t get a response quickly or even see God do what I am requesting I KNOW He hears me and it makes me realize something GREATER must be around the corner! Last night I had a jewelry party and afterwards one of our senior youth girls wanted to spend the night. We started talking about how we were amazed by all that God was doing around us. She said I want to do crazy things and I just don’t know where to start.  I told her by just giving God her complete obedience was the first step.  The passion this generation has is blowing my mind. They want realness, they want authenticity.  They simply want JESUS!  I showed her the Psalm 5:3 verse and she said “have you read it in the message version, it will blow your mind”

^1-3 Listen, God! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries? King-God, I need your help.
   Every morning you’ll hear me at it again.
   Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life
      on your altar and watch for fire to descend.

UNBELIEVABLE!!

 I am waiting for the FIRE to descend….CONSUME ME!!

This past weekend Richard and I along with his brother and girlfriend went to see the Star Wars concert in Charlotte. Richard has been a Star Wars fan pretty much his whole life. We walked around and when he saw a character or a certain costume he wanted to have his picture with them. I laughed because I felt like I was chasing around Rebekah or Rachel at Disney.  He sat there with a smile on his face throughout the evening.  At times he would tell me childhood memories or the year he went to see each movie when they came out.   I thought about how Jesus wants our faith to be that as of a child. He wants our dependency to be totally on Him. Just like a child reaches up to be held, I want to hold my arms up to be held by my heavenly Father. I have realized so much lately about how the absence of my father growing up played such a huge part of who I was growing up and all through school.  I made many bad decisions that led to heartache and even feeling more empty than I was before.   This morning around 4am I woke up and it was one of those can’t go back to sleep wake up calls from God!  I sat there in the bed and began praying to Him.  I remembered Psalm 5:3 where it says bring my request and lay them down and wait with expectancy. So as I prayed I pictured bringing my request and laying them at Jesus feet.  Certain people came to my mind, UNBOUND, our student ministry, my future, my desire and calling to speak, along with some more things…I mean it was flooding my mind. I realized that I had so much I was carrying and that God was asking me to bring it to Him.  I have brought it to Him time after time…..but this time I decided to leave it!

Psalm 5:3  3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
       in the morning I lay my requests before you
       and wait in expectation.

For 12 years I have been overweight. I am so overweight now that it truly affects my lifestyle. I have been praying for God to “heal” me from this weight and to take this struggle  away. I have moments of motivation and I am driven but then there are more moments where I seriously want to just give up. I speak to girls/teens about how beautiful they are no matter their size and yet I struggle with being OBESE! So many of my closest friends say “no Holly you are not obese” but the Wii says so and so did my doctor. I have never admitted this nor have I really ever dealt with it as being a sin. I don’t get drunk on alcohol but I get drunk on FOOD! I have heard so many pastors say this very thing  recently.  Yesterday I finally talked to a beautiful lady who is  a physical trainer and who is also interested in maybe joining UNBOUND Ministry.  I am drawn to her story and I am overwhelmed at how God works. I shared with her my story and she shared her story. We connected and I am excited to see what comes out of this friendship.   I need accountability, I need to be pushed and I need money to do it because healthy foods and such are not cheap!  I am praying for God to consume my heart with a passion to become healthy. I didn’t say lose weight and be beautiful! Psalm 45 says The KING IS ENTHRALLED WITH MY BEAUTY..I want to be healthy so I can live life to the FULLEST! So I am asking for you guys to partner with me as start AGAIN to become healthy. I just blogged this same thing a few months back and as I write this now I think to myself “you will fail” & “you are hypocrite”   I want it to be different this time! With your prayers, and God leading me I know things are going to change = ) My name is Holly and I am addicted to food…

Halloween was a fun filled weekend full of candy, candy and more candy! We went trick or treating and then headed to my lil cousin’s house for a costume party and lots of FOOD.  My sister came down for the weekend and my neice who is 3 kept us laughing all evening. She would make her mommy stand back and she wanted to be a big girl and ring the door bell or knock on her own. She would get the candy and as she would walk back to meet us in the street she would eat the candy she just received.  By the end of the night she was drunk on sugar needless to say.  My girls def played the part of who they dressed up as. Take a look at the picture! Runway Diva and Goth/punk girl:) they are already talking about what they are going to be next year and Richard is ready to put our Christmas trees up..Really?? I am ready for GOBBLE GOBBLE DAY!! I want to hear your funny stories…

How many of you are dressing up for Halloween?  All I keep hearing is “what are you going to be”.  Both of my girls dressed up pretty much every day the entire first 5 years of their lives.  Last year I remember walking outside on the porch and as I went down the stairs Rebekah calls out “STOP you are about to fall into the water” I didn’t see any water but I thought I would step back up on the step just in case.  Rebekah was dressed from head to toe like Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean and she was on a ship (our front tree) and Rachel was a princess and she was in her castle (the other tree).  They yelled in their pirate/princess voices “the evil pirates were on their way to capture them and I better go back inside”.  Their imagination and dress up took them away.  When we choose our outfits for Halloween I mean costume parties (I go to a Baptist Church) we tend to become that character.  A few weeks ago we made a trip to Party City to look at all the costumes. Rebekah was dead set on being Michael Jackson and Rachel was set on being a Spanish dancer. They tried their costumes on and BAM one was talking with an accent and the other was doing MJ dance moves.  They both wanted to try on new costumes so back into the dressing room we went with two different costumes. It was an immediate transaction. Rebekah was now Cleopatra and Rachel a runway diva model.  They wanted to play the part of each costume/person they had chosen.  I thought about how back in college I gave my life to Christ and yet there are days I don’t play the part. I get mad, I don’t pursue Him and yet He allows me to represent Him. I have seen so many people spend so much time saying things AGAINST Halloween night and I get the whole demon/evil thing.  I just like to look at it as being a LIGHT in the darkness….so what are  you going to be?

Ephesians 5:1-2 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us^[a] and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

This past weekend Richard and I decided to put off some much needed work in on the youth room (painting/cleaning etc). Instead we took the girls Friday night to get pumpkins to carve. They had a great time and it felt like fall outside!  We talked about creepy stories and by the end of the night we were all watching Halloween fun movies. Saturday we decided to go to Carowinds for the day.  The girls put their festive shirts on. Rachel’s choice was her black and white glitter shirt and Rebekah’s was her black and white, hot pink skull/cross bone shirt with matching knee high socks. It was breezy and NO one was there. They got to do all the festive kids stuff and ride all the rides. Rebekah even got on stage and did Karaoke (Thriller and her favorite Party in the USA).  Rachel has been weary of riding all the upside down roller coasters pretty much all season and so Richard pumped it up and got her on the Cylone! It flips like 4 times and she is only 7 so I was anxious and I knew I would  see her coming off with massive tears but instead she came off with a huge smile and was ready for the COBRA!  She conquered her fear and when she came off the Cobra she said “mom I can’t believe I have missed out on this all along” she then says “I don’t have to sit and wait for sissy anymore”.

Do you want to experience excitement like that?  We tend to watch others who are passionately serving and passionately following Jesus with all they have and settle for just watching.  I think the problem is that we know if we get on and “ride” so to speak that change will occur and many of us are afraid of change.  I see so many people miss Jesus because of of the FEAR OF CHANGE.  I want to encounter Him for myself.  I don’t want to watch you be passionate (all thought its great and it def encourages me) I want to BE PASSIONATE

Matthew 9:35-38

 ³⁵Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. ³⁶When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. ³⁷Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. ³⁸Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

verse: 36…He SAW the crowds and He had compassion on them…

Compassion=your pain in my heart….

what moves you?

Luke 5:17-26

¹⁷One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. ¹⁸Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. ¹⁹When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. ²⁰When Jesus saw their faith, He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”²¹The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”²²Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? ²³Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? ²⁴But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins….” He said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ²⁵Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. ²⁶Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Jesus SAW their faith… in order for Jesus to SEE their faith they had to be DOING something. We often stand and just watch.  We seem to be ok with watching a mighty movement happen. We see these MEGA churches that God is pouring numbers into daily and sit back and say..wow that must be amazing.  I don’t want to watch I want to ENCOUNTER IT!

Jesus healed Him and IMMEDIATELY he stood and WENT …When Jesus did a work in his life  it didn’t say he got up and stood around watching…NO HE MOVED and begin his journey back home praising God. I thought about all the people He ran into along the way. Did he keep quiet as he scurried home as a  healed man?? I think NO…

Depsite the obstacles he was persistent because he needed to see  Jesus…We allow so many obstacles to stand in our way of encountering Jesus. Man made traditions which is legalism, our past, our fears you name it. For this man it was the crowd. People were standing around watching, and the Pharisees were ready for Jesus to mess up so they really had no real interest in encountering Jesus for themselves. These men were so persistent they had to get pass the crowd to just see Jesus!

There is an older  song by Barlow Girl I heard last night and as it played these lyrics pierced my heart..”And I’ll stop this pretending that I can Somehow deserve what I already have “. I know so many people who are ok with how their lives are. They go to work, they go to games and attend church weekly. I don’t mean being busy or spending time with your family. I am talking all out passion for JESUS?? there is none.  I looked around last night at many of our students and many of their faces looked so sad. I asked a few weeks ago if they had dreams of becoming this or that and did they truly believe God could use them in the middle of their circumstances.  You would be surprised how many said no.   If you think about it did Jesus really rock my world for me to sit back and watch?  Do you have a burning passion, a persistent heart that drives you to encounter Jesus?… Maybe its time to MOVE!

Holly

 My one word last year was PURSUE. I honestly had no problem attaching this word to every area of my life. I pursued my cute hubby, I made sure I listened to God’s voice as I pursued this calling on my life to share and speak to teen/college aged girls. I spent last year saying…I NEED TO PURSUE THE HEART OF MY KING. It was that simple to me. I heard a pastor say once…”our need takes us to the cross, but our love keeps us there“. I said all that to say this! This year my one word has been THIRST. I looked up all kind of verses to remind myself; I looked up the whole dynamics of someone becoming thirsty blah blah. I have struggled so much this year staying consistent in the word. It’s like I have to fight time in order to give God just a portion of my day. I love Him more than I ever have, I desire to encounter Him, I pray CONSTANTLY.  But reading His word I can honestly say I just struggle.  I read and prepare for my lessons each week, and I love to read tons of books, but just sitting and reading for a “quiet time” outside of teaching is hard for me…anyone else?

Psalm 107:9  for He satisfies the thirsty
       and fills the hungry with good things

Psalm 42:2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
       When can I go and meet with God?

My dad has always had a garden full of so many types of vegetables. From peppers,  tomatoes, corn to cucumbers you name it.  It would be in the middle of a scorching hot day and he would be tilling and pulling up weeds and watering them.  I remember once in high school I was invited to a party and my dad told me to go out and pull the green beans up if I wanted to go. I did JUST THAT…I pulled the entire green bean plant (roots and all) up right out of the ground. I had no idea what he meant or how to take care of a garden.  I have been reading in Genesis lately and I noticed the word cultivate. To cultivate something means: 1 : to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops; also : to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants). God sends us the rain to grow us and to loosen the junk in our lives in order to grow us. Just yesterday I saw an amazing quote on twitter by Chuck Swindoll it said “When God wants to do an impossible task, He takes an impossible person and crushes him.”   We allow our past, and our hidden junk to grow within our hearts and then wonder why we feel so distant or why we feel so numb to the things of God.  I am learning that even though storms pound me to the point of tears, or questions and unanswered prayers plague my mind at times. It’s in the middle of all of that that God sends a refreshing rain on my life and on my heart.   Just like the green bean story I had NO idea what it meant to pull green beans so I screwed up the entire GREEN BEAN GARDEN! My dad had known how to take care of green beans because it was a daily thing for him.  He cultivated the garden and then he would WAIT  on the  growth .  It’s a process and it often hurts to get rid of things in our lives.  Just like my dad would spend hours in the HOT sun making sure his garden was ok. God wants to send a down pour into our lives but we have to prepare the field….My one word is THIRST this year and I am ready for a DOWN POUR!!

Holly

Ezekiel 36:34 (NIV)

³⁴ The desolate land will be cultivated instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass through it.

Ezekiel 36:34 (The Message)

 ^33-36 “‘Message of God, the Master: On the day I scrub you clean from all your filthy living, I’ll also make your cities livable. The ruins will be rebuilt. The neglected land will be worked again, no longer overgrown with weeds and thistles, worthless in the eyes of passersby. People will exclaim, “Why, this weed patch has been turned into a Garden of Eden! And the ruined cities, smashed into oblivion, are now thriving!” The nations around you that are still in existence will realize that I, God, rebuild ruins and replant empty waste places. I, God, said so, and I’ll do it.