I am safe:)

Today is Monday June 29th and I have so much to say……..

Friday: I bought my kids to work with me for them to play in the art studio and because I didn’t have a baby sitter. They love coming with me because they pretty much do whatever they want while they are here and they love to paint and make beautiful art work for me. My owner called a meeting to discuss the state cuts of  funding and the possibility of all of us getting a pay cut.We pretty much all  got the pay cut…so Friday evening  Richard and I along with the girls met up with some friends from Concord (The Ellis family:) for dinner at Sonny’s and a trip to Concord mills. We went with the hope of finding the perfect outfit for our UNBOUND photo shoot. Shauna is my friend from college and we are just as close now (even closer) than we were back in the day…..we lost touch for years and through God’s perfect plan she is now apart of my life again and also UNBOUND. The plan was for the husbands to take the girls into build a bear for outfits only haha! Shauna and I were in the Gap and as we are leaving and making our way back over to where they are we find them with our daughters making ANOTHER BUILD A BEAR! It was a fun evening and we both found outfits pretty quickly (except she bought the first outfit she tried on, and it took me at least 15).

Saturday: I got up and cleaned a bit, read my bible and really took my time getting ready. I usually put my make up on driving down the road so that was a bonus to actually stand in front of my mirror! We met around 11 and I was feeling good about my outfit and how I looked and I think I was honestly just overcome with excitement because this was actually happening.  The pictures were great until I begin to see myself on that stupid camera. The demon of self image attacked me pretty much the entire time we were there. I was ready to be just finished with it all. I knew we had to meet at my house before the  Natalie Grant concert so I was ready to just go home and rest for a few hours. I walked in the door kissed my husband and Rebekah and Rachel  good bye (they were going to work on his moms house with painting etc) I went into the kitchen to get some lunch and I just began to sob like a baby. I was overcome with negative thoughts about myself and it all stemmed from those stupid pictures. I sat down on the couch and for 20 minutes at least I just cried out to my Heavenly father to just hold me and reassure me of how much He loves me. I have not broken down like this in at least a year over. So I composed myself and just sat in silence. In those moments I could all most feel Jesus with me. I have understood the attack from satan in this area because I have struggled with it pretty much my entire life! So once again I had to tell satan to back off me and I just quoted Psalm 45 over and over again…THE KING IS ENTHRALLED WITH  MY BEAUTY!  I then called Gina and dumped it on her. We began to discuss how God has blown us away with all the connections and exciting things He has done. We want nothing more than to be in the center of His will even if it means hurting or in a moment of desperation.

Psalm 51:7 (The Message)

^7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I’ll let loose with your praise

It is in that moment that you feel as if nothing can make your situation better or that struggle that seems to plague your mind to the point of tears…God is in the midst waiting for us to turn and rest in Him alone.  I have come from a place of hating myself to a place of freedom in the midst of my struggle. I love the part where it says “Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails” we need to be renewed and we want to feel alive and most importantly FREE!

Now to the good part of Saturday… This year Beauty Within is being held at Gaston College because of the growth and the desire for us to take it into the city!  We have our website up and people are responding! (www.unboundministry.com) We have never before had a “cause” or some type of foundation that we have sponsored.  This year we are partnering with The Home Foundation (http://www.thehomefoundation.net/) Natalie Grant speaks with passion about this foundation because she has seen the eyes of little girls that have been rescued and also seen the faces of many that are in the process of healing…A friend of mine and I attended the Natalie Grant concert in Asheville and she spoke about the foundation there and I knew I had to make the commitment of giving 11 dollars a month to the this foundation. I also knew that God was calling UNBOUND to do this. I asked Gina who is totally mission minded and wants to rescue every person on the face of the earth to take this on. I asked her to contact Natalie and also the Home foundation to get materials for us or anything else that would be helpful to us in this whole thing….The Executive Dir responded with great support and excitement and so now things are in place! We left for the concert with the anticipation of getting to talk with Natalie and we ended up getting to talk to Matthew West a bit too. He gave me his definition of freedom “Freedom is resting in who God made you to be” very cool! Then  Natalie came in to do a  quick “thank you” video regarding the  support from the girls attending the events that choose to donate or partner with the home foundation. We will show this video at the Beauty Within Events in the future as well.  Now everyone who knows me also knows that my favorite artist in the world is Natalie Grant…We laughed because the unbound girls were saying “Holly she probably thinks you are an absolute freak because you twitter her all the time” but she walked in and she remembered meeting me in Asheville so HA!!  I was asked why  she is my favorite..  I truly believe that because of her realness and her obedience to sharing her story it truly opened the wounds of my heart that I had held pretty much my entire life….I began to deal with my struggles because she was bold enough to speak of her own. It was in that moment at a Revolve many years ago that I identified it! I cried like a baby and from that moment on I have become determined to change this world ONE GIRL at a time! So yes Natalie we are bff:) lol ok moving on…

Sunday: Our Pastor preached one of the most amazing sermons I have ever heard him preach! He is working through the book of Daniel and I will just say it was AMAZING! We are in chapter 4 and the title was “the wolf man got saved” Read through it…GOOD STUFF:) I learned something yesterday that I have never before caught it said  in verse ²⁹ Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon.. Daniel had warned him and advised Him that God was going to humble him if he didn’t repent from his prideful ways and God gave him a year to do this….WOW! I think about all the times we have been involved in something we shouldn’t or talk a certain way to people, or have un-confessed sin of envy, jealousy, greed or bash one another and we think because nothing has come from it must be ok that we haven’t dealt with it…A YEAR later God did deal with him…it says in the very next verse ³¹ The words were still on his lips when a voice came from heaven, “This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. ³² You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes.”

So today I sit here at my desk, and we were told that we are all pretty much getting a pay cut at work due to the state funding issues and I am ok with it because I know that Jesus has already gone ahead of me and its all good… I know that the Beauty Within will be over the top amazing because Jesus has already gone ahead of me and stirred the hearts of the girls attending and He is providing for it to take place. I know I am beautiful and a masterpiece because my daddy said so in Ephesians 2:10. God has away of comforting His kids just as I do my own. When they fall or need a hug I want them to feel safe in my arms. God is our refuge and when we feel abandoned, broken, hurt and just need a place to feel safe…He is that place Have a great week!  below are the lyrics by my bff song called safe…

Safe by Natalie Grant

How did you know
That I’m all alone today
Oh I feel so scared
And I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming

I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters
And the bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe

Drowning the tears
Won’t make it go away
It’s robbing my soul
So I’ve taken this mask off my face, Yea
To discover love
And uncover all
It means to live and breathe

I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love has mended my blisters
And the bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe

When You uncovered, I discovered
I am not afraid
But when we’re hiding we end up fighting
To be sane

Yea, Yea
I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scars
And show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters
And my bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe

arms open wide….

Today is Tuesday June 16th….so much has happened since my last blog! I am now officially apart of Speaking thru me ministries and I am super excited to see all that God is going to do as I begin this new chapter in my life. UNBOUND Ministry is still happening but it’s now going to be a division of STMM. God just worked it all out and I am blown away by it. I remember many prayers that I lifted up and asked God to just be in control of every area of my life. I am at a place where nothing seems to bother me.  I am truly learning to trust Him with abandon without any expectations or any desired outcome that I have in my head. I want things to be HIS way only, not my way with a touch of Him.  It’s no longer my wants and desires but the passions He has placed in my heart with a desire to just be His…and only His! I have made so many friendships over these past few weeks that have already impacted me greatly.   I think we have to truly get to a place in our faith that we just step out with your arms open wide  ready to embrace WHATEVER it is that God wants for our lives. This life isn’t about us having fun and taking summer trips or working 9 to 5 jobs.  It’s about embracing the purposed life Christ laid out for each of us! Its standing up to the giants in our lives, it’s following God whole heartedly, it’s sacrificing even when it hurts! Take a look at the hall of faith (Hebrews 11) It says…..¹³All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. I am learning to live NOW and to embrace it as it comes.  I am very excited about The 7th Annual Searching for the Beauty Within Seminar this year it is set to take place at Gaston College…This leaves me speechless!  To know that 7 years ago we had 20 girls and now to know we are planning for 480 BLOWS MY MIND! I truly feel like we often place our fears before God and we say “no money” or “it will never happen” and Jesus is saying…with GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! I am praying for many volunteers to rise up and I know that the sponsorship and money will come. I have no fear or doubts! The unbound team met on this past Sunday and to see their passion for Christ and to see their inner longing to just serve inspires me to push them along with myself as we move forward! God is so amazing and I challenge you to check your love for Him. Yes you may say I “love” Him but to be crazy, stupid, overwhelmed, speechless, silly, I mean OVER THE TOP in love with your maker is something you can’t even put into words!! Standing before the throne right now…what would you say? What would you do? hmmm to have a longing a desire that burns so deep within your soul that NOTHING keeps you from being with your sweet love:)  I am praying for those who read this to experience a great awakening deep within that you begin to see God for who He truly is….. Jesus you complete me!  Thank You for allowing me to find me strength in the middle of what I thought was a weakness….

www.Speakingthrume.com ( I will be added soon)

www.unboundministry.com

2009 Searching for the Beauty Within

Tickets on sale NOW

Hillsong United

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

No word to describe…….

Today is Wednesday June 3rd.  There is NO word to describe this stirring in my heart. This all consuming passion that is rising up in me.  This morning as I was on my way to work I begin think about how often so many  people including myself walk away to pursue “Godly” things just not God Himself.  I have often found myself in the place of complacency  and its when I would say I was truly ON FIRE for Him.  You say how does this happen? Well slowly….serving others becomes more of a hassle than truly being selfless or  giving becomes more of a hassle than just a act of sacrifice or encouraging becomes more of a hassle than just wanting to build others up…you see the pattern? We can pursue the things of God and get lost and end up missing HIM.  I was listening to Hosanna by Hillsong this morning on the way to work. I was singing the lyrics and I had one of those moments where you knew God was speaking directly to your heart.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity

Why would anyone want to be broken? I mean feeling sorrow and pain or questioning who you are and feeling you have no purpose or direction. But to know that the creator of this universe can reach into my soul and renew me and restore me is something that I long for.  All through 2 Corinthians Paul talks about all the junk they had gone through but still there was great Joy! 2 Corinthians 7: 4b “I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds” To have that JOY in the middle of chaos wow there is nothing like it!  This world needs to see that even when we are knocked down, empty and in complete desperation our JOY KNOWS NO BOUNDS.  I often get so frustrated when I hear stories of how people were in love with Jesus and then months later they are back into the old routines of life.  I think about how it must break His heart when I am pursuing everything around Him but Him.  I have been reading in 2 Corinthians this week and this morning I was in Chapter 7 and verse 10 talks about Godly sorrow:

10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

When we allow ourselves to be broken something happens within our hearts and transformation takes place. God transforms who we were into who He created us to be. This process can often hurt and push us to giving up. But in 2 Corinthians chapter 4 it says: 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

In the midst of our weakness and the feelings of insignificance God is saying there is a TREASURE let Me show you!  When you feel as if nothing can go right or when you feel like there can’t be anything good from what you are experiencing God is saying let HIS POWER shine.  I know that in my own life there are people surrounding me that are broken and need a touch from God. I know there are people who are numb and want God to do a mighty work in their lives. I also know that there are people who are passionately pursuing God and its spilling out into the lives of those around them. Look at where you are right now in this very  moment and ask yourself am I crazy in love with Jesus? If so I encourage you to keep on! If not than I pray that your deep rooted love for Him will rise up in you and a renewing would take place! I am praying for God to ROCK MY WORLD and for His name to be famous EVERYWHERE I GO!!

Holly

expecting the UNexpected!

This past weekend my husband along with our girls set out to Anderson SC to hear Perry Noble preach. He is one of my most favorite preachers and it’s because he is real and doesn’t care about what others think of him only Christ! He brings it and when you leave you feel convicted, and you are ready to make a difference. When we arrived on Saturday we went swimming and then to dinner and then back to swimming. It was much better than waking up at 7 to get there in time because we are two hours away. The girls love going to NewSpring as much as we do. This was our 4^th time going. We also met up with a few of the youth. This one student has been accepted into Liberty and has only been saved about a year. He loves going to NewSpring so much that he is actually considering moving to Greenville and attend Greenville tech just to be able to be apart of NewSpring. He doesn’t have supportive parents and cannot afford Liberty at this point. I know that God is going to use that boy! His testimony would blow you away! He is hungry for God’s word and I truly believe he will make his mark! So anyways… we let Rebekah stay with us in the service this past Sunday and she LOVED IT! She experienced true authentic worship and to my surprise the youth pastor was actually preaching.  His name is Brad Cooper and boy let me tell you that dude can preach! At first I was like, man I wanted to hear Perry but my husband (who is also a youth pastor) reminded me that God was who I came to encounter not Perry Noble…I said hahaJ I tell Richard all the time that him and Perry would be bff!  I realized I went ready to hear someone but got something else in return and it was amazing because I had no idea what to expect!!  It didn’t matter who led the worship or who was going to preach, because God moved in that place!  I think so many people go into God’s presence to simply hear what they want, or expect a certain answer to a prayer when God is usually doing something way more in our lives than  we could even fathom! Brad spoke and he captivated the crowd because he brought truth, and he brought unedited JESUS! (oh I like that unedited Jesus..hmm)  ….Afterwards we went to the mellow mushroom with our girls and the three other students who came along with us. We decided we would head to Ridgecrest to stay for the night because Rebekah and Rachel wanted to see it and to also just spend the night again some where! There are no TV’s in the rooms, no pools for swimming, so it’s basically you, God, and pretty much nature. I LOVE IT! I would work there in a split secondJ we went to the top of the mountain and I was anticipating there faces as they saw miles of beautiful green trees and a gorgeous breath taking view. But!! What they saw was FOG!!! MILES OF IT! But to my surprise there faces lit up and they began to talk about how beautiful it was, how amazing the view was, how God was awesome and how peaceful it was up there. They saw God even through the fog! Then there was my reaction and I was disappointed. God spoke to my heart at the very moment and said they came expecting to see the unexpected and you came expecting to see what you have already seen and you were hoping to see the same thing.….

 In Ephesians 3:20 Now to HIM who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen.

I begin to see that we can become such spoiled people and we want our spiritual lives to be easy and to be comfortable. When NO where in the Bible it says anything of the sorts! Jesus was rebellious! He stood against the flow, He brought Truth, He encountered people because He met them right where they were. He was brutally beaten for me and on the third day rose from the grave! I mean really THIS MAN WAS UNBELIEVABLE!  

Lecrae’s lyrics describe Jesus as this… “Jesus was a rebel, a renegade, outlaw/ sanctified
troublemaker but He never sinned, no/ and He lived His life by a different set of Rules/ the culture ain’t approve/so you know they had to bruise em/” 

 

I am praying that God rocks my world daily and that I encounter Him in ways that are unexplainable and immeasurably more than I could ask for! I want everyday to be unexpected and a deep excitement to serve Him with my WHOLE heart. I want others to look at me and say….SHE IS A FREAK and then ask me why!  I want others to EXPECT one thing when they see me but when they talk to me be blown away by what God is doing in my life and how crazy in love I am with Him! God please rock my world!! I refuse to fall into numbness, into complacency, into a ho hum relationship with you. Consume me and allow me to see You in everything I do or say! God today I am asking you to use me to make you famous!

Holly

 

http://www.newspring.cc/

watch week 2 of the Now What series…

ALL the days of my life….

^{Psalm 23: 6} NLT

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
      all the days of my life,
   and I will live in the house of the Lord
      forever.

The word PURSUE was my ONE word last year and  I am always telling the girls to let guys pursue them.  Recently a friend of mine was very interested in a girl and he told me that he was doing everything he could to win her attention but nothing was happening. He took her out, he called her daily and he told her how beautiful she was…still nothing happened. We talked about it and I said think of how God must feel when He pursues our hearts daily and we give Him nothing…. To pursue means:: to follow in order to overtake or  capture; to find or employ measures to obtain or accomplish.  What this tells me is that God is after my heart to capture it make it His and hold it captive as He loves me with unfailing love, and uses me for His glory. He protects my heart even when it hurts or its broken! God never lets it go because I am captured!  In the Psalm above it says ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE Every day HE WILL PURSUE ME WITH HIS UNFAILING LOVE….WOW!  I pray every morning “God please use me today, and allow me to encounter You”.  I want to experience His unconditional love as I show someone who this world says doesn’t deserve love….I want to experience His mercy as I give it freely even when it causes me to be uncomfortable…I want to experience His power by means of  me giving up the control and allowing  Him to do whatever HE WANTS! Encountering God is something that many of us desire but never fully grasp that He is at work around us and through us we just have to embrace it and LOOK for it! I call those burning bush moments! 

Exodus 3: 2 There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.” 4 When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”
      And Moses said, “Here I am.”

Moses saw a burning bush and went towards it and then God called out to Him…He didn’t say Moses come see this burning bush first. The cool thing is that every day is a new day to start over. Maybe you have been that person who says to the man on the street who smells like liquor and can’t even stand to ask you for money “get a job”….or maybe you speak so badly about your circumstances that those around you look at your life as HOPELESS rather than your life exemplifying a glimpse of hope for their own lives. This world looks for us to respond! If we say we love Jesus than we need to show it…If we say we are Christ followers than we need to show it…If we say we have joy and hope in the midst of a situation then we need to cling to that! We show people who we really are when we are in a state of desperation. To be desperate means: having lost hope!! I know we all have been in this place where we either questioned what God was doing, or begged Him to move in our lives. I want to be at the place where even in the middle of what seems a hopeless situation I am daily pursuing the heart of my Father, My king, My everything! I am praying for all who reads this today that you allow God to search your heart and CAPTURE it fully! Remember when you were a kid and field day would bring good ole tug of war! You would grab that rope so tightly because you were determined you were going to win! I mean blisters would form and sweat would pour and when you would release that rope that feeling would bring such relief! (no matter if you lost or won) I think about that with my own struggles and all the things that seem to pull my heart in the opposite direction of Christ. But the thing is this….God already has CAPTURED, OVERTAKEN, and has OWNERSHIP of my life, and my purpose and my heart so nothing can win. I may fall down from time to time beat myself up but I know that in the end I WILL BE STANDING!

Get lost in Him, YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!

God help my life make you famous! My struggles are for you to grow me, push me, and empower me and to know that in the middle of my weaknesses I AM STRONGJ and most importantly FREE!

REFUSE to give up!

This morning I am soooo sore I cannot even put it into words! I started doing Tae Bo last night and can I just say it kicked my tail! I want to be healthy for myself, and my family.  I am so sore that its hard for me to pick up my water and type!!  I laugh because you would think I was 90! I usually stop an exercise program as soon as I begin to hurt or see I have to sacrifice anything at all. I decided yesterday that I would commit to this three days a week. My girls came along with me and Rachel stood in front of all of us and didn’t miss a step and cheered us on. Rebekah loves it because it makes her feel like she is on of the girls! So if anything we are having some bonding time as I have my butt kicked by Billy Blanks!  This morning I am listening to Knees to the earth by watermark and I feel such peace. I think about all that my Jesus sacrificed for me and how He didn’t stop with the first crack of the whip! He didn’t stop with the pounding of the nails! And as He hung on that cross for my sins He took it! For me to be able to give my all to Jesus is something that I desire more than anything. My life, my passion, my purpose my family, my weight, UNBOUND, my work, my habits, my words, my thoughts… I heard last week on the radio to sacrifice means giving up something good for something better. I think about the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I gained eternal life, hope, Joy, peace…to name a few! WOW!  When we allow God to shape us just as He intended for us to be, we see the better things!! In Philippians chapter 2 it talks about a man named Epaphroditus. He isn’t mentioned throughout the Bible, nor does he have tons of books written about him. But When I read his story I saw a servant, I saw a fighter, a man that was committed, I saw a risk taker and a man who chose to sacrifice.

Philippians 2:

25But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs. 26For he longs for all of you and is distressed because you heard he was ill. 27Indeed he was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow. 28Therefore I am all the more eager to send him, so that when you see him again you may be glad and I may have less anxiety. 29Welcome him in the Lord with great joy, and honor men like him, 30because he almost died for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up for the help you could not give me.

Every day when we get up out of bed we take precautions to keep ourselves comfortable. Checking the weather, preparing lunches, making sure we have plans for the week/weekend. We read a verse to feel good, we pop in worship music, we have savings accounts, we watch our HUGE televisions, we walk in our expensive shoes…I am in no way saying that these things are bad. I do them, but I do think that we allow a level of being comfortable to overcome our need for Christ to the point we become numb, or immobile. We no longer inspire others with our stories of deep faith, and sacrifice. We no longer motivate our fellow believers to keep pushing forward and to seek God with all they have even when it hurts. We no longer believe that GOD is in control of every area of our lives. We take the control. Max Lucado said when we take things into our hands; we take it out of God’s hands. I am encouraging you to take a look at your life. Do you sacrifice? Do you encourage? Do you risk? Do you motivate? Do you inspire? Do you love? Do you pursue the heart of the King?

Knees to the Earth

Wonderful Savior
My heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always
The blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior
My heart will know Your worth
So I will embrace You always
As I walk this earth

(chorus)
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You oh Lord
Here I am

Beautiful Jesus
How may I bless Your heart?
Knees to the earth
I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus
You are my only worth
So I will embrace You always
As I walk this earth

I am praying today that you won’t get comfortable but you will allow God do something that will blow your mind!

Ephesians 3:202Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Get lost in Him and I promise you will never be the same….

Season of Renewal

About a month or so ago I knew God wanted me to do a retreat for the UNBOUND team. Gina booked it for me and so on Friday 7 of my closest friends set out to Ridgecrest NC for a retreat. The title of the Retreat was Season of Renewal. All of us are in different seasons of our lives. God stirred things up in our hearts and God brought issues in our hearts to the surface and we were forced to deal with it. This weekend was about all of us finding renewal even though we are all in different places. That is exactly what happened!  Friday night we did two sessions.  One of our sessions was called Confessions are good for the soul.  We talked about things in our lives that have kept us from embracing true joy and happiness in our walk with Christ. We talked about how as a ministry we had to be willing to dig deep within our souls and allow God to pull the yuck out of our hearts. We all shared tears and things either from current circumstances or from our past that we continue to deal with. That night we laid it at the feet of Jesus. I am so honored to be apart of a team that seeks God with all they are. Even in the midst of what seems so hard these women have joy and love with all they are!  The ages range from 19 to 37 among us.  I remember sitting there looking around the room as they wrote a letter to God and I realized that each of us had something different to bring and a story to tell. We wanted renewal and we could taste it. We bonded and all at the same time asked God to bind our broken hearts and to allow us to encounter Him over the next few hours! WE DID! Every single session something new was brought out.  EVERYone of us spoke up and responded to what God was asking of us.  We finished in Deuteronomy Chapter 1 and talked about coming down the mountain and making the necessary changes in our lives as we move forward as a Ministry team. God allowed walls to fall around our hearts! Some of us are truly in a season of brokenness and some of us are in a place of questioning what happens next. But together we are all seeking God and trusting He is in complete control of this Ministry Searching for the Beauty Within Seminar is moving forward and we are just about 19 weeks away! I am soooo excited I could burst! I am praying for the churches in the surrounding areas to jump on board and for also others to partner and support this event.  Please continue to pray about how you can be apart of this event.  We would love come to your city!!  I have a lot to blog about and I am still have to process it all!  God sometimes tends to leave me speechless!

Holly<><

Not going to move….

Today I am filled with so many emotions I am super excited about all that God is doing in my life and the direction He is taking it. I am also very thankful for all the new friendships I have formed just in the past few weeks. God connects the dots in our lives at the most perfect timing! This Saturday is the anniversary of when my dad was killed and I always seem to think about him more at this time and I begin to really miss him. We didn’t have a really close relationship and that led me into making dumb decisions growing up.   I do remember the little things like him sending me cards in college or stopping and getting me a HUGE jar of pickles and pickled weenies when I was pregnant with Rebekah.  I remember driving to see his brothers and sisters in SC and we would play the cow game all the way there and just talk on the way back.  As far back as I can remember he would always tear up and cry when he drove off. I don’t think he realized how much he had hurt us but I knew he hurt when he drove away each time.  I also seem to be in a place of needing strength. I am so busy but I desperately want to be used by God and to speak His name J I want my life to be a reflection of who He is. I have to remind myself all the time that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER (Romans 8:28) circumstances that seem so hard or when I hear stories that just rip my heart out I say YOU ARE GOD and you are in complete control.  My latest song addiction is You are God by Kirk Franklin/Toby Mac. I have listened to it over and over and it’s like God is speaking into my soul. BE STILL…When I am questioning my circumstances, or when I am in need of a blessing or an encounter with God.. He speaks through it all and says BE Still don’t move! The song talks about wrestling and fussing at God because he wants control and at the end he gives up and says I am not God YOU ARE~ That is it! Just like Jacob He wrestled with God ALL night and said I am not stopping until you bless me!  I want to wrestle until I find myself face to face with God! For me it’s letting go of my desires, my dreams and allowing Him to fill me up with His purpose for my life. The perfect plan! Once I seek Him all the details seem so minor and just falling more in love with Him is where I find myself. I want to be at his feet and soak up all that I can. People always ask me “where are you with Christ today>” I can’t really say where I am today but I can tell you that I am clinging to hope! I am hopeful that God is doing something that is certain to rock my world and at the same time teach me and guide me into His perfect plan for my life!  My mother in law would sit back in her chair look out her window describe the flowers outside with such creativity and vibrant colors and words! She would look at the circumstances on the news and say God is in control we got to just trust Him! She would say Holly you are beautiful don’t dare let anyone tell you other wise!  She would love my kids with all she has! I miss her too and I know that this Sunday is going to be hard for both me and Richard! Our first mothers day without herJ Be encouraged and know that He is in control even when things seem so OUT OF CONTROLJ Don’ give up on the people you care about, Don’t give up on your dreams, Don’t stop seeking God, Don’t allow this world to dictate who you are, Fight with all you have!….JACOB DIDJ

 ²² That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
      But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” ²⁷ The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. ²⁸ Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^[e] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” ²⁹ Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. ³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, ^[f] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Sin vs YOU…don’t give in!

This is the Lyrics from Lecrae’s song INDWELLING SIN…SOOO GOOD:)

[Sin]
Aye look what’s good fam it’s me again The one you used to call your friend
I know you aint forgot me?

[Lecrae]
Oh yeah you always get me caught in sin

[Sin]
Here you go with that again. You act like we aint cool or sumthin.
Lets go smoke a Kool or sumthin. Talk and sip a brew or sumthin.

[Lecrae]
Naw man I aint trusting you Aint nothing but lust in you
Thanks be to God I obeyed the teaching I was entrusted to
cause when you pass by you just want ya boy to backslide
Have me feeling sick like I’m coming down off a crack high

[Sin]
Man that’s a flat lie you act like I’m the bad guy
you know when me and you get together we have a grand time
lets take it back. All the way to like the 6th grade
last thing on your mind back in the day was trying to live saved
remember house parties, kissing in the dark?
man that was innocent fun come on…

[Lecrae]
NOW don’t start
See dawg I live by the Spirit so I don’t gratify
all them old sinful desires that never satsify

[Sin]
Aye come on KILL THAT! Look me in my face and tell me I’m a lie
You aint feeling chasing women, getting drunk, and getting high
stacking money, staying fly, living up the playas life
we was having fun now gone try to be religious guy

[Lecrae]
Aye Yo man first of all LOWER YOUR VOICE! Who you talkin’ to?
Handcuffed in August ‘02 I got caught with you
Truck flipped over on 35 that was all from you
I’ll mess around and lose my life man tryna walk in you
I’m standing on these stages and got these people believing me
what I look like trying ta gratify this disease in me

[Sin]
So Now I’m a disease? Man please. I got yo back dawg
I aint saying drop the Jesus and be a rap star
All Im saying is when it’s you and me lets be real folk
We aint gotta be selling drugs and tryna kill folk
Maybe just a lil…

[Lecrae]
What? A lil this, a lil that
a lil BET late at night, that’s like a lil crack
see you aint gone lie to me I see how you be tryna be
BET tonight becomes addiction to pornography
and that’s in no way honoring the God who’s ruling sovereignly

[Sin]
Man you know you miss them old days

[Lecrae]
Yeah you right possibly
But after that I sober up and think of Jesus holding up
his skin up on the cross for all them drunken nights I’m throwing up
every thought of blowin up is captured in his flowing blood
I start thinking Philippians 4:8 when you showing up

[Sin]
You know I aint gone quit right?

[Lecrae]
Yeah I know but I’m dead to you
and one day I’ll be present with Jesus who died and bled from you
Colossians 1:15 thats the God that I trust in
the Father crushed Him In doing so he has crushed sin

Who is God to you?

I have been thinking a lot about all my friends that are really going through some tough stuff right now. Some are financial, some are going through some relationship issues and some are just in a season of brokenness.  I hurt for them because I want nothing more than to take their burdens away. That led me to think about how our view of God reflects how we talk to Him and it also affects how we view the tough circumstances in our lives. For me I saw God for so long as a father who would leave me when I messed up, or who be so ashamed of me or even so disappointed in my constant failures. I viewed my Heavenly Father as my earthly father. My dad left when I was 7 and the way I looked at him distorted my view of God.  This Saturday it will be 11 years since he was killed and I miss him so bad! I wish I could tell him all the things I know now. But more than anything I would ask him about his salvation and speak up about how God has changed my world! 3 or 4 days before he was killed I was only a few days from graduating college and we talked for hours on the phone. I told him I had forgiven him and that I loved him so when he did die I didn’t carry any guilt of that but I never asked him about his love for Jesus! Time is so precious and we allow our circumstances to cloud our intentions of reaching out to others.  We think God can’t handle our lives so we take Him out of the equation. Psalm 15 says WE WILL NOT BE SHAKEN! When we are so rooted in Jesus nothing can knock us down permanently or keep us from seeing HIM in the midst of it all. Today I am praying for the girl who has messed up and needs forgiveness God is waiting with arms opened to embrace you and make you whole again! In Ephesians 1 it says we were CHOSEN I promise you have a purpose! We allow our past and failures to dictate our future and God is saying I have chosen you to be mine…YOU WERE CHOSEN BY THE CREATOR OF THIS UNIVERSE! Maybe you are a in a place of brokenness, a place of questioning where to go next, or a place of pain, or you just feel empty! God is the healer, the guidance, the teacher, the redeemer, the hope, the giver of life and so much more! Last night I asked the seniors to stand up and I asked then to tell me who God was to them right now. Some said He is their peace or He is their guidance in the midst of graduating and fear of going to college.  I loved how Tori described it she said that to her right now God “was her gardener”….because He is pruning away the areas of her life that are keeping her from growing! That is so good! I encourage you to look at how you view God right now and know that He is able to accomplish way more than we could ever imagine! So as you leave comments answer this…Who is God to you right where you are…….

Love to all:) Holly<><

Psalm 15 

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
       Who may live on your holy hill?

 2 He whose walk is blameless
       and who does what is righteous,
       who speaks the truth from his heart

 3 and has no slander on his tongue,
       who does his neighbor no wrong
       and casts no slur on his fellowman,

 4 who despises a vile man
       but honors those who fear the LORD,
       who keeps his oath
       even when it hurts,

 5 who lends his money without usury
       and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
       He who does these things
       will never be shaken.

 

Ephesians 1:44For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love 5He^[c] predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will